Oct 27, 2009

Noah's Ark

I'm on a new television show where we travel back in time to the origins of life's greatest mysteries to find out what really happened. This weeks episode, we were transported to Point Reyes, just north of San Fransisco before "Noah's Ark," beached on dry land. Turns out, it wasn't Noah's ark. It was my brother, John Daniel's ark. And he loaded us in two by two, just in time.
We leave the city early in the morning to load into the boat.

John Daniel receives the holy spirit and takes us to the ark with his eyes closed to prove it.
"All aboard, two by two, as God commandethed."

Male and female, clean an unclean.

John Daniel unties his pet red-tailed hawk to seek dry land.

The hawk returns with a green leafy substance, a really good sign that the new world was going to be way better.

John Daniel knew he had done the right thing and would soon deliver his people the new land. Magical.

When you roll with Jesus, you always get ambassador parking.

The new world. Only the holy remain. Go forth. Record scratch. Levi's is using that one now.

Inhale and multiply.


  1. I will follow him. Follow him wherever he may go. There isn't an ocean too deep, a mountain too high it could keep, keep us away, away from his love.

    I love him, I love him, I love him, and where he goes I'll follow, I'll follow, I'll follow. He'll always be my true love, my true love, my true love, from now until forever, forever, forever.

  2. WTF Miriam? I wish you could see my face when I look at this. My nose is an inch and a half away from the monitor and I'm breathing through my mouth. retarded good.

  3. My favorite parts of this story are:
    1) Dan with his eyes closed as he receives the holy spirit
    2) his shit eating grin after the hawk comes back with the green leafy substance, proving that the new world will be way better

    I'll say that, so far, the new world is new, and better because...I'm still here?